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13th Street's Claudia Black: An Exclusive Memoir

Copied from 13th Street

Part 1: Pandora's Box

My agent called and asked if I would be interested in playing the part of a French journalist in a vampire movie. It would be shooting in Melbourne (an old stomping ground of mine) and I would be required for one day of filming.

So, it wasn't Hollywood bashing down my door but catching up with some old friends and seeing the sun set one more time over St. Kilda wasn't such a bad idea.

Part 2: The Audition

I am ready to say my two lines... backwards, while standing on my head.

The director comes out into the waiting room to talk to someone I recognize from TV. He glances my way and keeps chatting. I am called into the room. I have a long chat with the director and then do the scene (i.e., my two lines).

Director: "The French accent is impeccable, Claudia, but what are you doing auditioning for this role?"

Me: "I'm sorry?"

"I saw you out in the waiting room and I thought, she should be a vampire!"

"Ahhh, thank you, I think...."

"Pandora! If I give you some pages, would you mind looking them over and then coming into read them for me?"

At this point the casting agent interjects, "Claudia would not be available to play this role due to her commitments with Farscape."

Claudia, as aloofly as possible, "Well, yes, but according to my contract it may be doable. I don't want to muck you around, but it may be doable...."

Part 3: The Read Through (United Nations Salad)

I take an early flight to Melbourne and then a taxi to an old chocolate factory in the City's west where the production office has been set up.

Someone directs me up the stairs to the room for the read through.

I take a seat and am immediately asked to shift as these seats are reserved for main cast only. Humpf.

I am reminded of a joke at this point:

"knock knock,

Who's there?

Claudia

Claudia who? ...

That's showbiz."

It is now clear to me that I should choose the two naughtiest supporting cast members in the room and plant myself next to them so that we can draw rude pictures and giggle.

The director expresses a concern that given the eclectic nature of the cast and characters, there may be too many different accents in the movie. Could we all please attempt our character accent for the read-through to ascertain what sort of 'salad' we have.

United Nations salad.

The real fun begins when the Ancients are brought together. Bruce Spence, the tall Aussie legend from Mad Max/Road Warrior fame, is Khayman. Matt Newton (who plays Jothee on Farscape) is playing Armand. Due to the lens type being used on the film, (anamorphic), Matt and I will end up linked in all the coverage in two-shots; the lenses are so wide that rarely will anyone other than the heroes have a 'single'. So on and off set we become the naughty twins.

Lena Olin, as Maharet, and Vincent Perez join us for these scenes. They are charming and funny. The work begins to feel more like play.

Part 2: The Rock Concert There is a sequence set at a rock concert. The Ancients pop in to check it out. Since they are geographically removed from the action directly on the stage, our shot is done on a different night to the filming of the concert. Scores of Gothic extras are brought in.

After seven hours straight of waiting in the trailer, a very sleepy Pandora scuttles on to set to fall into line with the other Ancients. The only thing keeping me awake is the fact that there is basically a naked extra dancing in front of us. The rest of the cast have too much grace to acknowledge it. I am trying not to giggle. I really should grow up one of these days. Over-tired I guess.

Some music is played to get the extras in the mood. Given their attire, the demographic they represent and the type of music that will be put in afterwards, "We are Family" by Sister Sledge is not terribly appropriate and half the crew stands back anticipating a riot.

We, in one long take, give reactions to things that will be shot in a month's time. The director says things like "OK, and now so and so flies in......"

When's dinner? We had it ten hours ago. Bummer.

Six a.m. - time to go back to the hotel, put on an eye mask, put in some ear plugs and attempt to sleep before my afternoon pick-up.

Part 3: The Hollywood Sign

Actually it looked more like N-U-L. We shot a scene out in the hills of Melbourne, somewhere that had to pass for the Hollywood Hills.

The Ancients gather in front of the Hollywood sign. Due to the size of the letters of the sign in reality and probably some budget constraints, only half of the first three letters were built. Hence, N-U-L.

A long night shooting one scene. In between shots I keep calling my friends back in Sydney who are at our high school reunion. They are in the bathroom, (where girls always congregate). The reception is bad and the call finally cuts out.

So, I am left in front of something that says N-U-L wearing fangs and an exotic costume pretending to be undead. I start wondering about how many of my classmates became doctors and lawyers and decide that I have chosen a very strange way to make a living.